Into Inverness

I arrived in Inverness, Scotland from Perth just in time for lunch. My hotel room wasn’t ready yet, which was fine because I had lunch to occupy me.

Based on my arrival at the train station and the very short walk from there to my hotel, I’d say Inverness is a delightful, bustling, small city. Then again, I keyed these first paragraphs while at lunch in a cafe less than a block from my hotel, so I had only that few-block walk to go on. I’ll give you an update after I write about the rest of the day.

The River Ness passes through Inverness. It’s a relatively short river that runs from the famous Loch Ness to the Moray Firth. Loch Ness probably would not be famous were it not for its even more renowned resident, the Loch Ness Monster, known to her closest of friends as Nessie. I hope to gain such familiarity with her on this trip.

Of course, the Loch Ness Monster is mythical. Or is she? I plan to be on the shores of Loch Ness on this trip. I’ll let you know if she approaches me to say hello. It’s the polite thing for her to do after I’ve come all this way.

After lunch, I wandered around to see some of the sights before a 5:00 p.m. walking tour I booked to see some of the sights. Sights. There’s no such thing as too many sights.

Most of the pictures in this post are from the walkabout on my own because I saw and photographed a lot of the same sights as on the tour, although I didn’t know what at least one of them was when I saw it the first time. Most of the pictures here are sunnier than they would have been if I had taken them on the walking tour. The weather changed frequently and rapidly here today, so I had both sun and clouds all afternoon. But there was much less sun on the tour.

Inverness Walking Tour

The guide on the Inverness walking tour, Christine, was very knowledgeable. Or, rather, she had a lot of stories about Inverness and its history in its broader Scottish context. But I have no way of knowing whether all or even any of what she said is true. However, I’ll choose to believe her.

Having said that, there is one story I’m skeptical about. It’s one of her anecdotes that I managed to remember. You’ll probably recognize it when it comes around. And there’s another one when I think she might have been joking.

Whether completely accurate or not, Christine was very genial and had a welcome wry sense of humour.

Inverness Proud

There were 16 customers on the tour, including me. To start, Christine asked us where we were from. One man was Irish. There was one Canadian (me). The rest were from various parts of the United States.

Christine then asked who’d been to Scotland before. A few people raised their hands. I was one of them.

Then she asked who’d been to Inverness before. All hands remained down.

“Well,” Christine said, “then welcome to the real Scotland. Edinburgh is nice, but it’s not the real Scotland. Inverness is the real Scotland.”

No, that wasn’t the part I was skeptical about. I just thought that was Christine being Inverness proud. I was quite happy to give her some leeway on the veracity of that claim.

Still at the starting point, Christine gave us some general information about Inverness.

For example, she said that “inver” is Gaelic for “mouth.” (Or inver might be a phonetic derivation of the Gaelic word; I’m not sure.) Inverness is Inverness because it’s by the mouth of the River Ness.

According to Christine, Inverness is the capital of the Highlands. I don’t know if that’s an official designation or just what it’s called. Inverness is home to 80,000 people. She said that’s not a lot for a capital city. but it’s more than anywhere else in the Highlands.

She also gave us a lot of information about the geology and the tectonic history of Scotland. I forgot most of it, but one thing I remember is that some rock that, millions of years ago, was then attached to what is now Scotland is currently part (or maybe all of; I’m not sure) of Newfoundland. I hope Scotland doesn’t ask for it back.

Exploring the Sights

One of the first buildings we stopped at was the Inverness Town House. It used to be the seat of the town council. But they moved those functions to a new building away from the town centre. The very handsome building is now used for civic ceremonies and events.

At the front of the Inverness Town House, on the roof, sit two statues of dogs. Myth has it that they’re there to protect the town.

The facade of Inverness Town House was cleaned I forget when. The town council took the dogs down before the cleaning started. According to Christine, they put the dog statues “somewhere safe. But,” Christine asked, “what happens when you put something somewhere safe? They forgot where they put them.” Christine then said she put her library card somewhere safe. Now she doesn’t have a library card.

The town council figured there’d be an uproar if the dogs weren’t there when the scaffolding came down. So they had replacements made. But then someone said they remembered where they put dog statues.

I forget if Christine said if it’s the original or the replacements that are on the top of the building. But the other pair are now sitting on the ground on either side of the building entrance.

Okay. That’s the story I’m a tad skeptical about. Forgetting where you put your library card after putting it in a safe place is one thing. I can believe that. I’ve done similar things several times in my life.

But how do you forget where you put for safekeeping stone dog statues with high sentimental value for the town? The statues aren’t huge, but they’re not tiny either. I find it hard to believe that anyone forgot, even temporarily, where they put them, particularly considering that I wasn’t involved.

Also in front of Inverness Town House, there’s a mercat cross. According to Christine, they’re common in towns and cities in Scotland. Tall poles with gewgaws on top of them, mercat crosses were used to mark the location of the town market.

The mercat cross is mounted on a low pedestal. Embedded in the pedestal in front of the mercat cross is a stone, the top of which does not rise much above the pedestal.

The stone has a reasonably smooth, slightly rounded top that is even more nondescript than the Stone of Destiny. This stone is called the Stone of Tubs. (Christine also gave us the Gaelic name, but I couldn’t make out what she said. So I certainly couldn’t remember to report it here.)

According to Christine, back in the olden days when the town market used to be there, the women of the town brought their laundry tubs with them, set them down on the stone, and proceeded to gossip. Legend has it that if the Stone of Tubs disappears the town will fall. Clearly, the prophecy is just a myth, but it’s possible Christine was joking about the myth even existing.

The Inverness coat of arms is mounted on the front of the Inverness Town House, as well as on the building next door. The coat of arms has an elephant and camel on it. Christine said there are a few theories about why a town with no elephants or camels anywhere near it has them on its coat of arms, but the theory she believes is that Scots are strange. I suppose the fact that the national animal of Scotland is the unicorn backs up that theory.

We then walked to the Inverness Castle. Except, it’s not a castle. And the building that’s there today never was intended to be a castle. That’s just its name.

Christine said there had been battlements and previous castles with storied histories on the site before the current “castle” was built, but they are long gone. The current Inverness Castle was built as the town’s legal building. It was built to contain courts, the police station, and the jail. It looks castle-like, but, as I said, that was not its purpose.

The walking tour didn’t go into the Inverness Castle. And I won’t go in there at all while I’m here. Regular readers can probably guess why. Yes, indeed. It’s closed for renovations. It’s not expected to open until next year sometime.

We stood in front of a tall, red, wooden construction hoarding and could see only the top of the “castle” above it. There, Christine spent considerable time giving us a very interesting Jacobian history lesson. I forget all of it.

There is a better view of the Inverness Castle from the other side of the River Ness than from where we stood. From there, the hoarding and scaffolding obscures less of the “castle.” That’s where I took the picture I included there.

Then we moved on to the Inverness Cathedral. To be honest, I don’t find it particularly spectacular. It might have been better had Inverness not run out of money before completing the building. They went into debt and had to leave some of the planned elements out.

Above the entrance, there’s a relief sculpture of Jesus and the Apostles. (I’m not Christian. I’m surprised to learn that’s not a rock band.) But rather than 12 Apostles, there are only 11. That’s not because they didn’t have enough money for the 12th. Christine said they intentionally left out Brutus. There’s a space where he should go, but, according to Christine, the Scots have long memories and they carry grudges. So they didn’t want to honour Brutus. (*See update below.)

We arrived after the cathedral’s closing time. But I had been there before on my walk. They charge £2.20 to go in, but there’s a glass wall in the vestibule area so you can look in without paying. It looked unimpressive and, dare I say, boring. So I didn’t go in.

There was considerably more to the tour, but I can’t recall much else, so I’ll leave it here. Catch you tomorrow.

Oh, I just remembered. I promised to let you know if my opinion of Inverness had changed from the first impression I got walking the short way from the train station to my hotel. Nope. I still think it is a delightful, bustling, small city. But I’ll add scenic to the list of adjectives.

*UPDATE: As a reader helpfully pointed out, there was no Apostle Brutus. I did a little Googling. I now think that should be Judas, who was an Apostle and a traitor to Christ. What I don’t know, now a couple of days later, is whether 1) it was Christine’s mistake, 2) I misheard her, or 3) I misremembered what she said.

Knowing me, as I do, my best guess is it was 3). As I said, I’m not Christian. What do I know about Apostles? (In case you were wondering, the answer is nothing. I know nothing about Apostles.)