Church of the Holy Rude and More

In this morning’s post, I mentioned that I visited a cemetery in a kirkyard (churchyard) but the church wasn’t yet open when I was there. I visited it after lunch. It’s called “Church of the Holy Rude” (website link here).

I knew the name this morning when I visited the cemetery, but I wanted to hold off on mentioning it because the name raises some questions in my mind and I wanted to save it until I had a chance to talk about the church. That chance is now.

The Church of the Holy Rude? Really? What’s that all about? I’m not religious, but I wouldn’t have thought that rudeness was holy. Is there a Commandment that I don’t know about that says, “Thou shalt be rude?”

Or does the church recognize two types of rudeness? Is there a holy rudeness and a satanic rudeness? If so, what’s the difference between the two? And is there a satanic Church of the Unholy Rude?

Furthermore, what an incredibly inappropriate name for a church here. Everywhere I’ve been in Scotland so far, the people have been as polite as polite can be. Of course, being a quiet, shy sort, I mainly speak only to people who have or want my money—hotel clerks, restaurant servers, train staff, etc. They might be somewhat more inclined to be polite to me than people with whom I don’t have a commercial relationship. But they have indeed all been extremely nice, often above and beyond what I’ve come to expect from just a customer relationship. (I did recently have one exceptionally bad service experience in a restaurant. But even then, they were extremely polite and apologetic while delivering horrible service¹.)

And when I’m walking somewhere where there are few other people around and I pass someone, they will often have a pleasant “good day” with a bit of a Scottish burr for me even though I don’t know them.

So what’s all of this rude business, holy or otherwise?

So many unanswered questions.

I spoke of the Church of the Holy Rude’s exterior (although not by name) briefly in this morning’s post. I have nothing to add to that here.

Inside the Church of the Holy Rude

The church is charming inside. There are lots of pretty stained glass windows, thick stone columns of a few different shapes, a grand, but not overbearing, old organ, and a simple, but attractive wood roof.

What’s more, the Church of the Holy Rude is filled with history. For example, Mary Queen of Scots, who was crowned and lived through much of her youth in Stirling Castle, just a short way up the hill from the church, used to worship in the Church of the Holy Rude.

A fat lot of good that worshiping did her. Mary Queen of Scots recognized the Protestant Church, but privately still practiced Catholicism. The people wanted a Protestant monarch so when Mary’s son turned 13 she was forced to abdicate to him.

(I don’t know why they waited until he was 13. Mary’s reign began when her father died, on December 14, 1542. Mary was born on December 8, 1542. So she wasn’t even a week old when her reign began. And she was only nine months old at her coronation. Do they make infant-size crowns? Furthermore, how effective could her rule have been before she could walk or talk? And until she was weened, the woman nursing her must have been one of her subjects. Weird.)

And as if her abdication wasn’t bad enough, despite worshiping in the Church of the Holy Rude, Mary was imprisoned in Scotland, escaped, imprisoned in England, and then ordered executed by Queen Elizabeth I, Mary’s cousin.

Maybe Mary would have fared better if she worshiped at the Church of the Holy Polite instead of the Church of the Holy Rude.

Stirling Miscellanea

My guidebooks recommended other sights that I didn’t see on this, my last day in Stirling.

For example, one recommended “Argyle’s Lodging,” a fortified 17th-century nobleman’s fortified mansion. The guidebook wasn’t sure, but it said it may or may not be included with the admission to the Stirling Castle. That is, it may or may not be included when it reopens after its lengthy refurbishment.

Neither my guidebook nor the sign on the gate in front of Argyle’s Lodging gave any indication as to when that reopening might happen. Am I supposed to call them to let them know when I’m leaving so they can schedule it for after that?

The same guidebook highly recommended a visit to Stirling Bagpipes, a small, cluttered shop that sells, refurbishes, and repairs bagpipes. According to the guidebook, the owner is very friendly and willing to answer questions even if you’re not likely a prospective customer.

I went there. I peered in the window and it was as described in the guidebook. But there was a hand-printed sign on the door saying, “Back in 10 minutes.”

I hate those signs. When was it posted? Thirty seconds ago? Nine minutes and 30 seconds ago? And how accurate is that time estimate?

I suspect the owner was hiding in the back, spying through a crack in the stockroom door to see when I left and it was safe for him to come out again.

Both of my guidebooks also recommended, although not highly, visiting the Old Town Jail. I walked by there. Signs said it was open and encouraged visitors to come in for an unspecified fee. But I didn’t venture in.

One of my guidebooks books says there’s little to see in the Old Town Jail. It says that someone who frequently changes costumes entertains families on a 30-minute tour through a part of the old jail and then leaves them free to look in some of the cells. It didn’t sound like my cup of tea, or espresso as the case may be. So I passed it by.

Instead, I spent the rest of the afternoon walking again around charming central Stirling and along a path by a different part of the River Forth than the one I walked along yesterday.

The path along the River Forth I was on today sits a smidgen farther back from the river than the one I was on yesterday. And trees block much of the view of the river. So for much of the path’s extent, I got only glimpses of the river through the trees.

But there were a couple of openings in the trees where I got fuller views there. Furthermore, both sides of the path are well-treed, so it is almost like walking through a forest, which is pleasant enough on its own.

Stirling Summary

I leave Stirling tomorrow morning, so the time has come for a summary of the town.

If you’re visiting Stirling primarily for tourism purposes, the day and a half I spent here is probably adequate. But if your goal is to experience the town rather than just “see things” and “do things,” you might appreciate another day or two here. As I said, it’s a pleasant town.

(I use the word “town” because it has that feel. I mean that in the best sense of the word. But it may be a city.)

Until my next stop, all the best.

1. I wasn’t going to mention the bad service experience, but what the heck? This post isn’t particularly long. It was dinner yesterday. I ate in the hotel restaurant. It’s a comfortably stately independent hotel.
   
   I made a reservation for 7:00. Late afternoon, they called me and asked if I could put it off until 7:45. I readily agreed. I got there and waited for a while until someone came to seat me and give me a menu in the half-empty restaurant. I then waited for ten minutes or so until someone took my order. I ordered a starter and a main. The starter was a soup and the main was sea bass.
   
   I then waited more than 20 minutes. Only then did the waitress come and tell me that the kitchen had just told her they didn’t have either the starter or main I ordered. She brought me the menu again. I skipped the starter and ordered a different main, fish and chips.
   
   It took a while for that to arrive.
   
   The woman at the table next to mine, who came in and ordered after I did, must have ordered the same main as I originally ordered because when I was well into eating my fish and chips, the waitress came to her table and said to her, “It seems we do have the sea bass after all.” And she plunked a nice plate of sea bass in front of the woman, who looked and sounded quite happy to get what she ordered.
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